Priscilla Lee

I think that one of the things I prayed about the most during training was, “Lord, please help me not to be a machine and grow me into a human being.” It seems silly, but I really felt like a machine. I had these notions of what a human being was supposed to be like, and I didn’t meet any of them. The most defining characteristic of my idea of a human being was someone who is more emotional. However, as I spent time in Kenya God really challenged me with the question, “What does it really mean to be a human being?” Here are a few things God taught me in response to the question and as an answer to my prayer request:

1. God taught me about the presence of people. Before I left, I would get really wiped out when I spent time with people. It didn’t matter if I spent time with one person or hundreds, my best friend or strangers, being with people was always very tiring. I was tired to different degrees of course, but I always needed “me” time afterwards. However, being on the Kenya team did not allow me the luxury of “me” time. Our team was together all the time. We were out doing ministry with Kenyans all the time. And late at night when I wanted to gather my thoughts about the day, I was surrounded by at least a few girls in a small tent. But even though being in Kenya didn’t allow for too much alone time, I never was drained. It didn’t wipe me out to be with people. I didn’t crave or feel the need for that time to myself.

2. God taught me how to see people as souls and grew a hunger to share the gospel. People in Pokot, a remote part of Kenya, have never heard about Jesus. They’ve never known anything else but their simple life. Doing house-to-house evangelism made the urgency to spread the gospel more real because it was not like these people heard about Jesus and then rejected the invitation. They have never even heard the gospel message. On one of our house-to-house trips, my group walked for three hours without sharing the gospel once because no one was home during that time of day. But by God’s grace, with each step I was hungrier to share the gospel with anybody. After three hours, right before we reached the base, we ran into a man named Christopher, who was not a believer. I’ve never felt such elation at seeing a Kenyan and at sharing the gospel. After we shared and were at the base, I asked myself if that time doing house-to-house that day was worth it. Yes. For that one soul to come to know and accept Christ, walking in the intense heat for miles and miles in the hot desert was worth it. Christopher becoming a brother in Christ and God’s kingdom expanding was worth it, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

3. God taught me the need for discipline and daily commitment. I was pretty prideful in thinking I was a disciplined person before Kenya. But God showed me I still lacked discipline, especially when it comes to my walk with God. Even on a missions trip in Kenya, away from distractions and with morning prayer everyday and revivals and prayer meetings every night, I still had a hard time remember God and loving Him. Even in a day filled with ministry activities I found myself making compromises before God and craving things of earth rather than of heaven. I need to be more disciplined in my relationship with God which takes daily commitment. With the grace and mercy of each new day, I have to commit to loving God above myself.

What is a human being then? It is someone who lives loving God and loving people. It seems simple, and the lessons I learned might not seem radical and profound, but this is what I learned in Kenya. I learned how to fight to love God and people and live a life in response to His great love. I learned how to be a human being. Even though nothing spectacular happened in my time in Kenya, I leave ever so thankful. I am thankful that God gave me the grace to see my weaknesses and trained and prepared me to live a disciplined life walking with Him.